THE BATHTUB IS REAL

I have almost stopped talking altogether. For the last twenty-four hours I haven't uttered a word.I am reminded of my maternal grandfather who once decided to become mute because he could no longer tolerate the fights he had with his wife.

My grandfather was a tall, handsome man with very fine hands. When I was nine years old, I went to visit him. One morning I woke up at dawn, as he did, and I asked him to talk to me.He took me for a walk along a deserted railway line and talked for three hours straight. He fed me mangoes and then talked some more. He told me how he had driven buses all his life; how much he loved women; how he played cards for money. He told me I was good at making people talk, he said I should become a journalist.

I need to call Kat. I know she's been worried. I need to tell her I'm okay...and I will in a little while. I've been sitting in front of the T.V. all night and I've watched five films on HBO so far...I must look like a lunatic, lying in my beach chair staring at the screen,but I suppose that doesn't matter. The whole time I'm thinking about him..

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. The essential is invisible to the eye. So says the fox to the little prince in Antoine De Saint Exupery's classic tale. I bought the book not long ago at borders...reading always cheers my mood...I find most of my comfort in the words of my favorite authors...which is always where I've found my comfort in the past...

I feel like a dam about to be overwhelmed by the flood of tears I've been holding back. To steel myself, I dredge my mind for helpful memories. I flash back on a book I loved as a teenager, The Lonliness Of The Long-Distance Runner, about a race of endurance and the endless interior monologue that keeps the runner going..

Our individual lives are like waves produced from the great ocean of the universe. The emergence of a wave is life, and it's abatement is death. The rhythm repeats eternally. ok. My monologue has lasted long enough....to leave on a positive note...great news..Kat is having a boy..We went out and split a nonalcholic beer to celebrate...